Applying the lessons from your divorce to your second marriage

Many people who file for divorce tell themselves that they will never get married again. Experiencing the end of a marriage is traumatic on its own, and divorce can be an absolutely miserable experience. Still, as the pain of your last relationship dulls, you may find yourself falling in love again.  

If you have met someone that you believe will make an excellent partner, you may want to make a lifelong commitment to them. Before you tie the knot, it would be very smart to think back to everything that happened at the end of your previous marriage and take steps to prevent yourself from going through the same thing again.  

After all, second and subsequent marriages are more likely to end in divorce than a first marriage. 

You need to be transparent in your expectations for the marriage 

People are often so focused on romance when they first get married that they don’t bother with difficult discussions on practical matters. Spouses may only realize after they get married that one is the spendthrift and the other is a saver. They may have different expectations about marital fidelity, children or how they will split up work around the house.  

Although these conversations aren’t fun to have, they definitely set you up for greater success in your marriage. Talking about your expectations and responsibilities before you get married and writing them down can strengthen your relationship. 

You can plan ahead of time to avoid a messy divorce 

Asking for a prenuptial agreement is not a sign that you think this marriage will end in divorce like your last one did. Instead, it is a way to protect yourself and your spouse from the messy and painful process of a contentious divorce.  

Right now, while the two of you respect and care for each other is the best time to decide how you would split your property if you divorce. You can also include those marital responsibilities you talked about regarding finances and other concerns. 

The two of you can negotiate terms for a worst-case scenario that you will hopefully never need. However, if you do wind up filing for divorce, you could avoid all of the anger and expense by signing a prenup now. Learning from your mistakes and planning for a stronger marriage with a marital agreement can help make your second marriage better than your first.