You’re getting divorced, but your spouse caused it. Perhaps he or she was unfaithful, or maybe your spouse asked for the divorce when you wanted to work things out.

You feel like you’re owed an apology. Now you have to go through a long and complex legal process. You have to divide your assets. If you have kids, their stable family unit is being torn apart. You may feel like you’re starting your adult life over, and all of your plans are gone.

Feeling like your spouse should apologize is natural. However, experts warn that it realistically may never happen. They say you shouldn’t sit around and wait for it.

After all, your spouse may not want to admit fault. Even in a case where he or she was unfaithful, your spouse may, in some fashion, want to blame you. You know it’s not your fault, but, if your spouse refuses to admit it, he or she may not apologize. The two go hand in hand.

The problem with waiting endlessly for that apology is that it can trap you in this last stage of your marriage. Dividing assets is about moving forward. Creating a child custody agreement is about planning for the future. Even when you didn’t want it, divorce should be about moving on, and failing to do so can be emotionally difficult.

Rather than spending your time and your energy waiting for something you may never get, even if it’s deserved, it’s wise to put that time and energy into learning all about your own legal rights and the divorce process.

Source: Good Therapy, “Divorce Without Remorse: When Your Ex Won’t Apologize,” Andra Brosh, accessed June 30, 2017