Your spouse asked for a divorce, and you’re trying to decide what your future will look like. It’s not what you planned, but you want to make the most of it.

Does that include dating again? If so, here are a few tips that can help:

  • Don’t make comparisons. Your new relationships are not your marriage. If you are constantly comparing them, it can make you unhappy. Focus on new experiences and new memories.
  • Always be honest. Don’t lie to your new partners about what you’re thinking, feeling or wanting. Be honest about your past and what you’re looking for.
  • Take it slow, if that’s what you want. No one else decides when you should start dating again. If you need some time, don’t feel compelled to rush just because you feel social pressure or you have people asking you when you’re going to date again.
  • Focus on being happy. You may not have asked for the divorce, but was yours really a happy marriage? You may have been struggling to make it work. If it’s ending, it’s time to focus on your own happiness.
  • Decide what you want. Do you think it’s time to date just for fun? Are you looking for a new person you can marry? Are you unsure where you fall on that spectrum? It’s fine no matter what you choose. Just make sure you know what you want so that you have realistic goals and expectations.

As you move through your divorce, it can help to think about the future in every aspect: Property division, alimony, child support, custody rights and everything else. Make sure you know what legal options you have.

Source: The Good Men Project, “A Few Stunning Dating Tips For After a Divorce,” Sarah Campbell, Feb. 17, 2018