If you’ve been divorced for awhile and are beginning to think that splitting up with your spouse was a mistake, you’re not alone. It’s not as uncommon as you might assume for one or both spouses to have second thoughts and regrets about ending their marriage.

Did you really make a mistake, or are you just remembering the good times and conveniently blocking out the painful aspects of your marriage that led you to divorce? If you’re thinking about giving it another go, it’s essential to ask yourself some key questions.

  • What caused the divorce?
  • What has changed that would make things better if you got back together?
  • Is your ex also having regrets about the divorce?
  • Are you willing to do what it takes to make the relationship work this time?

It’s important to be sure that you’re not just feeling lonely, having trouble adjusting to being single again or (if you have kids) missing being a family living under one roof. It may be helpful to talk with a therapist, alone or with your ex. A psychologist can help you sort through your feelings and determine whether you and your ex should try again.

If you get back together with your ex-spouse for the wrong reasons, you’re just setting yourselves up for more pain. If you have kids, be especially cautious. Watching their parents reconcile may be a dream come true. However, if the cycle of fighting or not speaking begins again, they could be more hurt and confused than they were the first time.

If you and your ex rekindle your relationship, even if you don’t remarry, don’t forget about your legal documents like support and custody agreements. If things fall apart, neglecting the terms of those could have serious ramifications. Talk to your Arizona family law attorney to determine what to do about them.

Source: The Good Men Project, “What To Do When You Regret Your Divorce,” Dr. Kurt Smith, accessed May 15, 2018