It may be hard to contemplate amid all the holiday excitement, but if you suspect that your marriage is headed for a New Year’s break-up, you’re not alone. January is one of the biggest months of the year (if not the biggest) for new divorce filings.
A lot of times, a spouse who files for divorce in January knew what they were planning a month or two before, but they didn’t want to make the holidays unpleasant for everyone, especially if there are children involved.
How do you tell if your spouse just isn’t into the holiday season this year or is more preoccupied with their plans to leave as soon as all festivities are over? Here are some signals:
They aren’t affectionate with you
A lack of intimacy can be telling, but a lack of affection is even worse. Intimacy can wax and wane in a relationship, and stress from the holidays, illness or a demanding job can all take their toll. However, affection is something that is conveyed through things like holding hands, cuddling together on the couch, back rubs and other small touches throughout the day. If that’s stopped, that’s a sure signal they’re putting both physical and emotional distance between you.
They’re already separating their lives from you
This is a process that can take numerous forms, and it includes things like:
- Changing the passcodes on their phone and computer
- Opening new bank accounts or credit cards solely in their name
- Starting new hobbies outside the home from which you’re excluded
- Activating new social media accounts (that they fail to mention)
One of these things may have a reasonable explanation, but a combo is most likely to be preparations for a split.
Some of their personal items are missing
If you start noticing that your spouse has packed up a few of their favorite things and put them “in storage” or “away for the season,” you may have good cause to be concerned. Spouses who are planning on leaving sometimes surreptitiously move things they want to protect or think they may need right away to their office or a friend’s house for safekeeping.
If you think a divorce is coming, don’t be caught off your guard: Experienced legal guidance can help you prepare.