What Is Parental Alienation, and How Does It Affect Custody?

Not everyone is able to amicably share custody of a child with their ex. Some may even use different forms of parental alienation to hurt the child’s relationship with their other parent.

What is parental alienation? How does it affect children and legal custody cases? Learn all about it in this in-depth guide from an experienced child custody and divorce attorney in Phoenix, AZ.

Defining Parental Alienation

What is parental alienation in child custody cases? Imagine you have just divorced your spouse and the two of you are trying to navigate a new custody arrangement regarding your young child. If your ex intentionally tries to manipulate or undermine your child’s relationship with you, it may be considered parental alienation.

How exactly could someone harm their child’s relationship with their other parent? Some forms of parental alienation include:

• Using negative language about them in front of the child
• Limiting their parenting time
• Interfering with or preventing parent-child communication
• Making false accusations about the other parent
• Rewarding the child for rejecting the other parent

A parent’s deliberate actions may gradually cause a child to gain a negative perception of their other parent, potentially causing long-term damage to their relationship. During custody cases, family courts must assess any form of alienation taking place since judges base their decisions on the child’s best interests.

Common Signs of Parental Alienation in Custody Disputes

Some children have a hard time coping with their parents’ divorce or separation. They may feel closer to one parent during this adjustment period and prefer to spend time with them. However, this doesn’t necessarily indicate some form of parental alienation.

In custody cases, family courts may appoint child psychologists or other professionals to assess the family dynamics. Speaking with children about their home life and their relationships with both parents provides crucial insights that may impact a judge’s ruling. If a child exhibits any of the following signs, it raises some red flags about possible parental alienation.

Repeated Negative Language

Words like “malignant narcissist” or “emotional abuser” usually aren’t in a young child’s vocabulary. So if a five-year-old suddenly brings up these terms when speaking about a parent, there’s a good chance they’re simply repeating what they’ve already heard. Children who use negative language toward a parent without fully understanding what they’re saying may be impacted by another parent’s alienation tactics.

A Lack of Guilt Over Their Parent’s Treatment

What is parental alienation if not a way for someone to fracture a child-parent relationship beyond repair? Individuals engaging in this behavior may repeatedly encourage their child to be rude or dismissive to their other parent.

Many kids feel bad if they reject a parent or hurt their feelings. However, those who are being manipulated could eventually stop feeling guilty.

If your child has no sense of remorse after refusing to spend time with you, their other parent or parental figure could be manipulating them.

Unjust Criticism or Rejection of One Parent

Let’s say a couple with a six-year-old daughter divorces, and they now split their parenting time. The daughter typically has a positive relationship with both parents, but suddenly, she refuses to talk to her father when he calls and actively avoids spending more time with him.

Given that the two had a positive relationship before, the daughter’s new behavior toward her father raises some concerns. It’s possible that her mother has used some alienation tactics to harm her relationship with her father.

Weak or Exaggerated Arguments

Children who are being manipulated into criticizing their parents may offer weak arguments when pressed about it. What does parental alienation look like in this case?

Perhaps a young girl criticizes her mother as “unloving” and “spiteful.” When a counselor or family court evaluator asks her to explain what her mother does to make her feel this way, she is not able to give any examples. The professional may grow concerned that the criticisms stem from the girl’s father in an attempt to damage her and her mother’s relationship.

This is a common issue in instances of parental alienation. Other times, children will blow a relatively weak argument out of proportion. For instance, a mother could have spent years as a loving caregiver, but if she’s late picking her kids up from school one day, they fixate on that criticism.

Hostility Toward Other Family Members

Imagine a mother actively wants to hurt her kids’ relationship with their father. She openly criticizes him in front of them, as well as his family members. With enough exposure to this type of language, the kids then start being rude, dismissive, or hostile to their father as well as their dad’s side of the family.

Assuming each of these people has had a safe, loving relationship with the children, their behavior may suggest a mother’s attempt at parental alienation.

How Family Courts Approach Parental Alienation in Custody Cases

Now that we’ve answered the questions, “What is parental alienation?” and “How can you tell if parental alienation is happening?” it’s time to explore the ways that family courts address the issue. There is one key component that will help you understand child custody agreements. The court will rule in favor of the child’s best interests, including their health, safety, and emotional well-being.

If a custody case raises questions about parental alienation, the court will need to closely evaluate it. Some of the main factors judges consider include:

• The tactics used to deceive or manipulate the child
• How long the behavior has been going on
• Communication between both parents

In addition, the court will consider any evidence of a parent’s malicious intent. Suppose a mother sends a voicemail to her son’s father saying, “I will make sure he never talks to you again.” The father may be able to present that voicemail as evidence of possible parental alienation.

It’s important to assess whether both parents support their child’s relationship with the other parent. If one party actively tries to destroy their child’s relationship with a co-parent, they may not be acting in their child’s best interests.

How Parental Alienation Affects Child Custody Decisions

Why is parental alienation important when it comes to custody decisions? To rule in the child’s best interests, family courts have to consider whether a parent is being intentionally malicious or deceitful. If there is credible evidence of parental alienation, it may affect the court’s decision in a few ways.

Some of the possible legal consequences of parental alienation in custody cases include:

• Adjusted parenting time: If one parent is actively trying to alienate another, a judge could potentially reduce the amount of permitted parenting time they receive.
• Supervised visitation: A professional may need to be present whenever the alienating parent spends time with their child.
• Court-ordered counseling: In an effort to improve parent-child relationships, a judge may require family therapy.

Outcomes vary for every case. The court’s decision ultimately depends on the amount of credible evidence there is of parental alienation, rather than accusations alone.

Understanding the Lasting Impact of Parental Alienation on Children

Ask a child welfare professional, “What is parental alienation, and how does it affect children?” and they may tell you that it’s a form of manipulation that impacts children on a deep psychological level. Children who are subjected to this behavior may go on to experience:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Impulsivity
• Poor self-esteem
• Difficulty forming relationships

Parents must be mindful of these long-term effects and take steps to protect their children. They don’t necessarily need to have a strong relationship with each other. However, they should focus on effective co-parenting and supporting their child’s relationship with the other parent.

Ways Parents Can Protect Their Children From the Harmful Effects of Parental Alienation

Even if co-parents don’t particularly care for each other, they need to continue fostering positive relationships with their children.

One way to do this is by not speaking negatively of a co-parent around the child. Children put in this position may start to develop a negative perception of one parent based on what they hear the other one saying. No matter how your custody arrangement works, your parenting time should be dedicated to building positive experiences and relationships.

What if you suspect your co-parent of alienating your child from you? They may suddenly reject or criticize you. Continue to be a steady figure in their life despite the pushback, and seek professional support if necessary.

Consult a Family Lawyer About Your Custody Situation

What is parental alienation? What are the different forms of child custody a parent can gain? Is it possible to modify a custody arrangement?

These are just some of the many questions we at Lincoln & Wenk, PLLC, hear from clients. Our family lawyers support Arizona parents and legal guardians with child custody proceedings, child support cases, and much more. Reach out to us for legal guidance regarding your custody situation, and learn how our team may be able to help.

To schedule a free consultation, call (623) 294-2464 or submit our online request form.